In the End, Forgiveness Heals All
| by Mark Victor Hansen | October 31, 2007
If I have done something wrong, where I can, I make restitution? How can I make up for what I have done? What can I do for the person I have harmed that will make them whole again?
Once, as a small boy, my friend and I were down at the little local store. There was a toy that I really wanted. I looked around and just slipped that toy in my pocket and left. It figuratively burned a hole in my pants. I had never done that before in my life. In fact, I was taught not to do that. The pain was terrible. I hid the toy in my room and never played with it. One day I heard about the concept of restitution. I knew the price. I asked my mother for the money because I was too young to earn it. My mother looked at me, and I think she might have understood. You know how mothers and fathers sometimes just understand? She just gave me the money without asking what it was for. I went down the street to the store, put the toy up on the counter, and handed over the money. I said, I took this, and I came to pay for it.
That taught me such a lesson in my life. It was probably one of the most courageous things that I had ever done in my life up to that point or since.
Own up to that restitution.
Sometimes you cannot restore what you have taken away from someone. You can try. You can apologize. Some things are very difficult to restore, but you do your best.
As you do, the load will begin to lift off of you, and you will feel like a new person.
The prize of giving the restitution is well worth the effort and the pain it requires.
I have three daughters and one son. One of my daughters went through a divorce. She came to me and was heavyhearted about the situation, so we talked about restitution and forgiveness. I said to her, If you will forgive him and forgive yourself, you have someone who will be greatly affected: your child.
She has a beautiful daughter, my granddaughter. Granddaughters are all beautiful.
So I tell her that she has got to let go. Try to make the restitution, and restitution was difficult in her case.
I am happy to report today that she and her ex-husband are best of friends, even though they are both married to other people. It makes the conditions for my daughter and my granddaughter so much better because of the healing impact of forgiveness.
It took each of them longer to self-forgive than it did to forgive each other, even though only one of them was the offender.
But in the end, forgiveness heals all.
Once, as a small boy, my friend and I were down at the little local store. There was a toy that I really wanted. I looked around and just slipped that toy in my pocket and left. It figuratively burned a hole in my pants. I had never done that before in my life. In fact, I was taught not to do that. The pain was terrible. I hid the toy in my room and never played with it. One day I heard about the concept of restitution. I knew the price. I asked my mother for the money because I was too young to earn it. My mother looked at me, and I think she might have understood. You know how mothers and fathers sometimes just understand? She just gave me the money without asking what it was for. I went down the street to the store, put the toy up on the counter, and handed over the money. I said, I took this, and I came to pay for it.
That taught me such a lesson in my life. It was probably one of the most courageous things that I had ever done in my life up to that point or since.
Own up to that restitution.
Sometimes you cannot restore what you have taken away from someone. You can try. You can apologize. Some things are very difficult to restore, but you do your best.
As you do, the load will begin to lift off of you, and you will feel like a new person.
The prize of giving the restitution is well worth the effort and the pain it requires.
I have three daughters and one son. One of my daughters went through a divorce. She came to me and was heavyhearted about the situation, so we talked about restitution and forgiveness. I said to her, If you will forgive him and forgive yourself, you have someone who will be greatly affected: your child.
She has a beautiful daughter, my granddaughter. Granddaughters are all beautiful.
So I tell her that she has got to let go. Try to make the restitution, and restitution was difficult in her case.
I am happy to report today that she and her ex-husband are best of friends, even though they are both married to other people. It makes the conditions for my daughter and my granddaughter so much better because of the healing impact of forgiveness.
It took each of them longer to self-forgive than it did to forgive each other, even though only one of them was the offender.
But in the end, forgiveness heals all.
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