Do you know how to save a life? If your friends needed your help, would you know how to offer it to them? Do you really think you could make a difference? Members of the band “The Fray” do, and they even wrote a song about it, so that others may learn. Therefore, we’ll be using their song as a guideline, since it covers the subject nicely.

First of all, we must realize and accept that everyone needs a little help sometimes. Even the bravest of souls has something that he just can’t cope with. This is why we need friends. They are the most valuable tool you have against life’s obstacles. True friends will help you overcome anything, without even realizing how much they’ve actually done for you at times.

So, what should you do if one of your friends is in trouble? Be a friend! You don’t need to give your life to help him out. All you need to do is sit down and talk. A good friend will always listen to his buddy’s problems, unaffected by the harsh words and accusations that result from being beaten down by life. Words said when in pain should have no value whatsoever, since a bleeding heart can rarely recognize the truth. Be by your friend’s side and listen to what he has to say, staying up all night with him if you have to, as the band suggests.

However, listening alone will do you no good. It only gives you insight on the problem and your friend’s view of it. The hardest part, yet the most crucial, is giving him the right advice. “Let him know that you know best” is the key phrase here. A suffering soul will always find comfort knowing that others have been through the same pain as he has and have put it behind them. Sometimes you may not even need to give them advice, just tell them that they’re not alone. How can life have triumphed over you if you still have someone by your side? As long as you are friends, you will never have lost the battle.

So, what do you do if you don’t know what your friend is going through? Lying is not an option! Telling him that you understand will only make things worse. He will surely say you have no idea what he’s going through – and he’s right! So agree with him! Tell him in the most honest way possible that you don’t have the slightest clue, but you’re willing to find out. “Slip past his defense” by admitting that you don’t know, something which he’ll never expect. Question him about the situation, making “a list of what is wrong” and then go through it together with him, so that you may find a solution together. Not being able to put yourself in his shoes is your greatest weakness – since you never will truly understand how he’s feeling – as well as your greatest strength – since you can analyze the situation from afar, objectively, plotting a logical solution that you may have missed under the strain of emotion.

Sometimes, all it takes is a little tough love, though. Helping someone out might force you to convince him that he’s wrong, which is a very soft expression for a cruel, yet sometimes necessary deed: breaking the person. If his beliefs lead him right into danger, it’s time to pull him away from them once and for all. A light in the dark can lead you down wrong paths, so tear up the dark, no matter how hard you have to work. It may seem vicious and it may hurt you both, but would you rather see your friend waste his life in vain? Wouldn’t you do everything in your power to help him, even if that means hurting him now so that there will be a later?

This may sometimes be the most difficult step, but if it’s come this far, then this is also the most critical. Make yourself understood, yet in a calm and rational manner, rather than roaring louder than all others. You are now role-playing and you have become the voice of ration. Show your friend two opposite paths and let him choose between them, relying on his judgment that he can make the right choice. So, what are these two paths? “Drive until you lose the road / or break with those that you have followed”. If you make it clear that he will hit a dead end along his path, but he still refuses to change it, then he must play out his role to the end, since he doesn’t want a second chance. Otherwise, he just needed some guidance to realize that he didn’t really choose the path that he wanted. Either way, this is make or break time. If he truly considers that his path is the right one though, don’t blame yourself. You should rather accept that his mind is truly made up. One of the things you can’t do is influence free will.

Last but by far not least, always offer your friends the comforting thought that no matter where they are, they’re never alone. Take their eyes away from their egocentric way of life and remind them that we are all pawns in the game of life. There is a higher power that guides us in the right direction and always protects us from evil, even if we don’t realize it. All we have to do is accept this divine help and we receive an invisible guide book for all of our choices. When all else fails, remind your friends that the miracle of life was given to them for a reason, not just so it could be taken back. God works in mysterious ways, but reading the parable of faith only proves that every evil cast upon you only serves to protect you from an even greater evil. Believe that everything happens for a reason and always remember that there is someone who has your best interests at heart, even when He puts your faith to the test.

If you really want to save a life, start with random deeds of kindness. These are like an investment or a bank loan. The smallest ray of sunshine that peers through the clouds serves to warn that the rain is fading away. Be the sunshine in people’s lives and you’ll see that rain will never come your way again. The smallest good deed can make someone’s day, so start small and work your way up. In the end you won’t just know how to save a life, you’ll do it by reflex, without even realizing just how much you’ve helped. You truly can never know just how many people depend on your smile.

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