Confidence Techniques for the Self
| by Lyta Humphris | May 13, 2008
Using confidence techniques allows you to behave calmly and positively in situations, have no doubts about your abilities to cope, feel secure, be upbeat, be composed and cool.
If we are not confident we depend on the approval of others. If we find people approve of us, then we feel good. We avoid taking risks because we fear we may fail. We feel we have to conform to be accepted and that if we do not conform then people won't like us, so we don't learn to say NO.
Self-confidence is an attitude which allows us to have positive and realistic views of ourselves. We trust ourselves and feel confident. It isn't about thinking that things will always go well, it is about coping with the uncertainty that things might not go as we hoped, and dealing with it calmly. When we feel confident, we have the resources to deal with the situation ourselves.
Many elements affect the development of self-confidence. A supportive home environment is very important to our feelings about ourselves when we are small. When our parents accept us and tell us they love us, give us their time and encourage us, then we then feel good about ourselves. If they are critical or demanding, put us down or discourage us moving towards independence we may become to believe that we are not capable of doing anything right and feel worthless.
This can then cause us to lose the power to recognise any of our strong points. Feel no-good and incapable, we will then find we cannot handle criticism. We will blame ourselves for mistakes we have made in the past and this will stop us from taking risks in the future.
This can expand and impinge on other areas of our life:
- Shyness in social events
- Relationships
- Saying no
- Dating
- Binge drinking
- Being assertive
- Fear of rejection
- Giving a presentation
- Meeting people
- Nervousness before a test
- Speaking up at meetings
A loving home environment is a good starting point, especially for children. However, its only the first chapter. As we grow up we will also be affected by how everyone else treats us, in a new home, in a job, or not in a job. A good loving family life helps, but the set backs of everyday life will often shatter our beliefs in ourselves, sometimes leading to drug or alcohol abuse.
Confidence is related to assertiveness. We need to learn these skills to help us to deal with difficult situations that knock our self esteem and its something we can build on in many different ways. We need to learn to say NO.It is also important to do something meaningful, either fun or useful, learning skills, taking up a sport or activity all this can help with lack of confidence. Think about areas in your life you are confident in, and then use confidence techniques to develop confidence in the areas you feel are lacking in.
If we are not confident we depend on the approval of others. If we find people approve of us, then we feel good. We avoid taking risks because we fear we may fail. We feel we have to conform to be accepted and that if we do not conform then people won't like us, so we don't learn to say NO.
Self-confidence is an attitude which allows us to have positive and realistic views of ourselves. We trust ourselves and feel confident. It isn't about thinking that things will always go well, it is about coping with the uncertainty that things might not go as we hoped, and dealing with it calmly. When we feel confident, we have the resources to deal with the situation ourselves.
Many elements affect the development of self-confidence. A supportive home environment is very important to our feelings about ourselves when we are small. When our parents accept us and tell us they love us, give us their time and encourage us, then we then feel good about ourselves. If they are critical or demanding, put us down or discourage us moving towards independence we may become to believe that we are not capable of doing anything right and feel worthless.
This can then cause us to lose the power to recognise any of our strong points. Feel no-good and incapable, we will then find we cannot handle criticism. We will blame ourselves for mistakes we have made in the past and this will stop us from taking risks in the future.
This can expand and impinge on other areas of our life:
- Shyness in social events
- Relationships
- Saying no
- Dating
- Binge drinking
- Being assertive
- Fear of rejection
- Giving a presentation
- Meeting people
- Nervousness before a test
- Speaking up at meetings
A loving home environment is a good starting point, especially for children. However, its only the first chapter. As we grow up we will also be affected by how everyone else treats us, in a new home, in a job, or not in a job. A good loving family life helps, but the set backs of everyday life will often shatter our beliefs in ourselves, sometimes leading to drug or alcohol abuse.
Confidence is related to assertiveness. We need to learn these skills to help us to deal with difficult situations that knock our self esteem and its something we can build on in many different ways. We need to learn to say NO.It is also important to do something meaningful, either fun or useful, learning skills, taking up a sport or activity all this can help with lack of confidence. Think about areas in your life you are confident in, and then use confidence techniques to develop confidence in the areas you feel are lacking in.
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