As you approach the upcoming holiday season, what emotions come to your mind--excited, merry and invigorated? Or do the words—panicky, sorrowful and fearful—seem more fitting? Perhaps your children moved away or you decided to move to the place of your dreams (good for you). In 2008, you watched your retirement savings shrink before your eyes and have spent more time at home because you dreaded the sticker shock at the gas station. The holidays just won't be the same this year—and what's worse, they may never be the same.

I suppose I'm a born dreamer or a slow learner because I continue to fantasize the perfect holiday. Oh, I know the holidays can't ever meet the fairy tale endings and the “ooh and ah” factor the TV and movies depict, but there's still a part of me that holds on to unrealistic expectations.

But this is the year I really have to do it. This is the year I have to focus on what's important, simplify everything and and keep—not just plan—a gift budget. Here are five things to help you design your best holiday.

1. Identify your shoulds. You know what they are. They are all the unwritten rules you have created for yourself year after year for the holidays. Like the rule where you have to bake ten different kinds of cookies, prepare a seven course Thanksgiving dinner or buy a certain number of gifts for each loved one.

I'm not suggesting that you eliminate all of your shoulds, but think about what continues to be fun and gives you joy. If you still love to bake those cookies—go ahead. If not, bake only your favorites and maybe there is a family member who would enjoy using your favorite recipes (only if they are willing to share some with you). Better yet, how about spending a day with someone from your family or a friend as you do the cookie recipe hand-off.

2. What rituals and traditions do you have? Now that your kids (okay so they are really adults, but they will always be our kids) are older or they live in various parts of the country, do these rituals continue to make sense?

If you've decided to make a change—make sure you warn your family members ahead of time. Don't make the mistake I did. When my daughters were younger, we started a ritual of giving them Christmas pajamas. This actually started as our solution to having them look decent when we took the photos every Christmas morning.
One year I decided the girls were just too old for their Christmas pajamas, so I didn't buy them. Well, talk about disappointment. I added it back into our tradition the very next year--although no one gets flannel any longer.

3. Who are the folks that make your holidays special? Friends are the family you choose yourself. How can you get together in a way that doesn't create a burden on any one person and everyone (especially you) can enjoy the time together—and not be stuck in the kitchen.

It may be impossible to spend time with all your children. Think what ways you can compromise and take turns--Thanksgiving at one house, Christmas at another or visit different families in different years. Surely not the holidays you remember from the past, but accept what you can't change and celebrate the good things you have in your life.

4. Develop your budget for gift and entertaining. Who hasn't been impacted by the economy this year? Sure the stores are doing their best to lure us to buy more stuff, but is now the time to buy that extra frivolous gift when the money would be better served for more essential items (or your gas tank)?

Many families have found ways to solve such issues. For example—establish a dollar amount and pull a name out of a hat to buy for one family member or give gifts to only young kids are a couple of the ideas that seem to work for a lot of families. I confess, I have been known to over-spend at holidays—picking up many cutsy impulse items. Sometimes my girls loved what I bought, but many times--not so much. This year, I will stick to their list and eliminate or reduce those extras.

5. Get real about your physical abilities. As we get older, it gets harder and harder to get on the ladder to string the lights on the house; stand on our feet for hours while we bake or cook; and walk around the mall for all those gifts. Do what you can--safety and health always comes first.

The one positive note that has resulted from the economy issues, is that we have had to get back to basics. Families, friends, love and sharing with others—that's what the holidays are all about anyway.

Article Source: http://www.articleset.com