Okay, this is a tough one. Stick with me, because this is a bumpy ride.

Ready? Here we go…

If you’ve had your heart broken, you must take responsibility if you’re ever going to get over it.

Phew! I said it! But read it carefully.

I didn’t say take the blame, I said responsibility. They’re not the same thing. Responsibility is the ability to respond – which means you can make different choices next time. Blame is just being angry either at yourself, another or some intangible such as God, the weather, your time of life and so forth. Not helpful, in the sense that that doesn’t give you anything to work with.

To heal from heartbreak go back in your mind to when you first met – your first awareness of attraction for this other person. Whatever you saw in them was a direct reflection of whatever was going on in you at the time. You’ll need to be brutally honest with yourself. (Told you it was going to be a bumpy ride, didn’t I?)

Honestly, were you aware of a sense, for example, of “he (or she) will do”? Did you in some way settle for second best? If you did, you considered yourself second best!

Did you think they were perfect, or in some way better than you? Did you put him or her, mentally, on a pedestal? If you did, once again you weren’t on equal terms, and sooner or later, they were bound to fall from that lofty place!

Did you take love that was offered when you weren’t sure you had it in equal measure to give back?

These are tough, tough questions, and I’m not giving them out so you can beat yourself up. They’re so you can polish up your image – to yourself.

Once you’ve done that, you’ll shine! (What else would you expect from a polished image?)

If you’re serious about getting yourself back on the road to love after a break-up, do yourself a favour and read my book, “How To Love Again When Your Heart’s Been Broken.” I can’t put the whole thing in this brief bulletin, but the link is on my website: http://www.wizardofwisdom.com.

Just to make you feel a little better before I leave you, though, think on this: whatever the other person did or didn’t do that contributed to the break up, (or break down), of your relationship is something they have to live with forever. You don’t!

As a very dear and wise friend once pointed out to me: s**t sticks and it’s smelly. But if it’s someone else’s you can wash it off and then you’ll be clean again. They, on the other hand, will still be full of it!

Now, to get really clued up on relationships, check out, (and keep an eye on) my blog!

Trevor Emdon, (Wizard of Wisdom). http://www.wizardofwisdom.com

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