It is pretty often people consider dating to be the same as sexual relationships. It is especially true when we talk about people who just divorced and thinking about new relationships. Sexual freedom sometimes is being considered as some sort of compensation for all the unpleasant moments accompanying the process of divorce.

Let’s take a closer look at this situation. Every divorce goes with many unpleasant things. When we talk about divorce we talk about negative emotions, broken futures, self-worth going down, lost respect to both your ex and yourself.

Starting a new life after divorce people choose from variety of ways. Two common scenarios being chosen are often similar for divorced “newbies.” You may not admit it but reality shows the following: first scenario is to condemn yourself, throttle all your feelings and put yourself into a deadly corner. In other words, to accuse yourself for everything that has happened in your life and going down to self-destruction.

Second way or scenario varies from the first one but having closer look appears to be the same. This is the term is often being called “sexual freedom.”

First thing we tried to do is to find what freedom is but didn’t find any common interpretation. But summarizing what has been found we can presume that freedom is the ability to do things, bearing full responsibility for their consequences. All of us think of freedom as how to do and how much to do. Can you imagine freedom as “not doing” something? Not to do things that you certainly know will bring you undesired fruit? Not doing something you do know will bring bad results? Not to do things that will harm another person for sure?

The general motive for shipping off into the open ocean of sexual relationships is to hide from yourself, to escape from the reality caused by separation with your ex-spouse. Sadly, the proven by psychologists fact is that nobody can run away far enough, everybody comes back with more difficult problems not even realizing where they’ve been. Escaping from reality never brings positive results, explain psychologists, sexual freedom doesn’t fill in internal gap, doesn’t compensate lack of feelings.

There is no big deal where and how to find a sexual partner, so it is too easy to abuse it until loosing sense reality. Having a new partner becomes almost the same as having a cup of coffee in a street cafe. There is too difficult to recover from what you’ve experienced going through divorce just substituting all the problems by free sexual life.”

{So what’s going on with divorced people who have chosen such path? They are dating after divorce and enjoying their freedom. At least they think they are. In the meantime it is very easy to forget how to build a serious relationship; just practicing “free love”.

Everybody has own will to decide how to proceed with own life. One thing that seems to be right, calm down, sit and talk. Have a wonderful conversation with yourself and consider several things. First, what do I want from my future? Do I want just to be alone, to practice sexual freedom and be alone, or do I want somebody next to me warming up my soul not the flesh only?

You may say that it would be too easy to find all the answers right away. Of course, especially after everything you’ve experienced from your divorce experience. But in the depth of the heart everybody knows those answers. Sometimes it is enough just not to lie to yourself.

Be critical and realizing the consequences of the things you do, or intend to do, helps you avoid unpleasant things and enjoy the real freedom of being the master of your future.

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