Most singles, at one time or another, have sworn they'll never become
that complacent. They swear they'll never become one of the couch dwellers.
(Comstock)
On a plane from New York, I gave some dating advice to the attractive single
woman sitting next to me.
I had mentioned that I was a dating expert, and she confessed how much she
wanted to be married and settled, and how hard it was to date sometimes.

I sympathized with her and offered some pointers on what she might do to
have more success. Then we both got comfortable and read for the rest of the
flight.

As it so happens, I was reading a very funny novel called Sleeping with Ward
Cleaver, about a woman who wakes up one day and realizes her husband has
become the most boring man on the planet.

I'm guessing she's not the only one.

I started thinking about how much the woman seated next to me wanted to be
married, and how the things we're hoping to get from marriage (comfort,
security, love) sometimes end up smothering us or at the very least, putting
us to sleep earlier and earlier every night.

It occurred to me that, married or not, almost every person I know who is
part of a long-term couple is kind of boring. And that includes me. Married
people live in their own little world, where television passes for
entertainment, sex is frequently a chore and chat about bodily functions
passes for interesting conversation.

It occurred to me that the woman sitting next to me on the plane was focused
on the great parts of being in a relationship, without remembering the
things that make couplehood imperfect. When we're looking for a long-term
relationship, we tend to gloss over the boring parts, and focus on the rosy
picture of bliss by the roaring fire.

Of course, married people do this too. They look back on their days as a
single and remember first kisses, wild sex, sole control of the remote,
grown-up conversations and traveling with friends. They selectively overlook
the occasional loneliness, the solo Valentine's Days, the dateless weddings,
the incessant questioning from relatives and co-workers about whether or not
you're seeing anyone.

The thing to remember is that both single life and married life have their
good parts and their boring parts. Romantic status does not guarantee a
better or more interesting life.

What's most important is to enjoy where you are now, and celebrate the
people you're with -- whether it's just for the night or the rest of your
life.

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