Changing attitudes about love and marriage in rich
Asian countries such as Japan and South Korea are pushing many desperate
bachelors to seek out brides in other, poorer nations around the region.
Many Asian men, particularly those in rural areas, tend to seek traditional
wives who will stay home, doing chores and raising children, say Mika
Toyota, a research fellow at the National University of Singapore's Asia
Research Institute, and other experts who study the region.

An economic boom in recent decades means women have options their mothers
didn't. Better educated, they can have careers - and opt to stay single
until Prince Charming shows up, if he ever does.

"Most Japanese women would prefer to live and work in the city," says Jeff
Kingston, author of Japan's Quiet Transformation. "A guy out there in the
boonies : has a tough job selling the wonders of being a farmer's wife."

Instead, the men increasingly seek women from countries such as China,
Vietnam and the Philippines, where income levels are much lower. The
practice has led to some complaints of abuse and exploitation, particularly
when the unions are arranged by third-party brokers, although some couples
say their marriages are as happy as any other.

The men "have more bargaining power" when they travel to poorer countries,
says Gavin Jones, a sociologist at the National University of Singapore's
Asia Research Institute. "Some of these men are looking for the sorts of
women they can't find (in their own countries) - women to wash their
clothes, submissive women."

The trend marks a significant shift in countries that have long been
ethnically homogenous. Some local South Korean governments, eager to improve
the birthrate in an aging country, even subsidize trips abroad for men
seeking foreign wives.

In South Korea, the number of marriages in which one spouse is non-Korean
tripled from 2001 to 2006, the U.S. State Department reports. Overall, one
in eight South Korean marriages involve a foreigner, according to the Korean
Statistics Office. In rural areas such as Gyeonggi, along the North Korean
border, the figure rises past 30%.

In Japan, the percentage of mixed marriages rose from 1.88% in 1986 to 6.1%
in 2006, according to the government's population survey that year.

Until a few decades ago, marriages in these countries were often arranged by
local matchmakers who "would show pictures to a man and say, 'Which one do
you want?' ," Kingston says.

These days, cultural and economic changes mean that "media and books tell
everyone the wonders of love marriage," he says.

More than half of Japanese women in their late 20s are single, up from about
30% two decades ago. A survey by the Japanese insurance industry a couple of
years ago found that most single women ages 35 to 54 have no plans to marry.

Marriage brokers charge up to $20,000 to fly lonely men to places such as
Vietnam to inspect potential wives, says Mary Kim, vice president of the
Inchon Women's Hotline, which offers language training and counseling to
foreign brides.

"They meet each other in the morning and get married in the afternoon," Kim
says. "Then they go to a hotel. It's a very abnormal way to get married."

In one newspaper ad, a South Korean broker advertises "very beautiful"
Vietnamese women: "100% virgins with health certificates for husbands to
check."

"It's a different kind of prostitution," Kim says.

South Korea passed a law in December cracking down on unscrupulous marriage
brokers, imposing jail sentences for those involved in the sex trade.

However, Kim says, foreign brides are often too confused and frightened to
complain to South Korean police when they are beaten at home.

The appeal for the women involved is usually economic, at least at first.
Rachelle Lim earned $210 a month as a sales clerk in greater Manila until
she was paired with a South Korean suitor. They met on a Friday, were
married that Sunday, and she flew to South Korea when her visa came through
three months later.

She didn't know what she was getting into. Her new home was cold, the
language difficult. The pungent cuisine took some getting used to. And her
husband's job as a factory manager kept him away from home six days a week.

"I cannot say I am happy now," says Lim, 29. "Sometimes I think I want to go
back to the Philippines."

Culture clashes are frequent, says Fe Gimarino-Kim, a Filipina who married a
South Korean in 1996.

In the Philippines, women often run the household and enjoy their own
careers. In South Korea, "the man runs things. If you're a Korean wife, you
must serve your husband."

Money is often a problem, too: Many foreign brides want to send money to
their parents and siblings back home; if their husbands refuse, they
sometimes do so surreptitiously. "They keep secrets and send money to their
families," Gimarino-Kim says.

Gimarino-Kim formed the Filipino-Korean Spouses Association to lobby on
behalf of foreign brides. Four years ago, she successfully lobbied for a law
ensuring South Korean citizenship for foreign brides who get divorced after
being beaten by their husbands.

Some mixed couples try hard to make their marriages work. South Korean
autoworker Kang Ho Kyu, 40, doesn't speak a common language with his
Filipina wife of six months, Marilon Royo - so they often communicate using
an electronic English-Korean translator.

"We try to work things out," Kang says as his wife, seated next to him,
breaks into a beaming smile.

Gimarino-Kim says she's one of the lucky ones, too. She has been in a happy
marriage with a South Korean for more than a decade: "It's a gamble," she
says. "Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose."

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