We’re going to talk about some “advanced stuff” today, so I want you to pay careful attention. As you may or may not know, it is very important for a woman to feel a sense of security in a relationship, to feel protected when she’s with a man. This is true no matter how powerful or successful she is, and comes back to what I call defining authority in a relationship.

A woman takes comfort in a man who defines authority in a relationship. She feels secure… and the two go hand in hand IF what you’re providing is what I call “true comfort.” See, way too many people confuse comfort with escape and the consequences can be dangerous. So what’s the difference between the two?

Let’s start with what “escape” means. Escape is really the illusion of comfort… a retreat into a false reality in an attempt to get away from “real reality.” Unfortunately, the consequences of “real reality” still apply. An extreme example, of course, is the drug addict who spends all his time either high or trying to get that way, so he doesn’t have to deal with reality. Of course reality always come crashing down, and the addict has to face the consequences of the decisions he made based on events in his illusion that in actuality apply to reality. Usually these consequences are not good… jail, termination of relationships, health problems, etc.

Now, don’t get the idea I think escape is bad, because it’s not, unless taken to the extreme, and mistaken for comfort in the relationship. I think escape is a fine thing IF you both recognize that’s what you’re doing. In fact, many “special friends” or “adventure partner” relationships are based purely on escape, and that’s a great thing… as long as both people realize that and continue to make reality based decisions, not “illusion based” decisions. But, what often happens is one or both partners mistakes escape for comfort, and starts making decisions based on illusion, not reality. I think many long term relationships go bad for this reason. Can escape be part of a successful long term relationship? Sure, and it should be IF “true comfort” is present. “Special friends” or “adventure partners” can be based purely on escape, but if you want to have a successful long term relationship with a wonderful woman, you must be able to provide her true comfort IN ADDITION to escape.

So what is “true comfort?” True comfort comes from the creation of a different reality, the molding and changing of a current reality to create outcomes which lead to comfort and security. The old reality is changed, not “retreated from.” With “escape” you’re dealing with two versions of reality: reality itself and “illusion of reality.” With comfort you’re creating, changing, molding, and shaping your own reality. When you are aware of this distinction, and controlling the direction, your relationship improves on many levels.

True comfort in a relationship comes only from true strength. Only a truly strong man can create his own reality. And true strength comes from sound mind, true character, desire and the willingness to pay the price to create that comfort for her and for you. That means, learning, studying, reading and working on “reality creation”… developing the ability to create your own outcomes with attraction, with money, with your health and with your relationships. When you can do that, you will achieve fulfillment.

When she knows you can create a reality for her and you in these areas she will feel true comfort, even if she herself is already capable of creating these things for herself. Why would a “capable woman” settle for an “incapable man” who can provide only escape, not true comfort? The answer is, she won’t, at least not for long. She may indulge herself in escape for a bit, but when the escape is over and it’s time to get back to reality, she’ll continue her search for the MAN who provides her with true comfort in the relationship she wants.

The lesson is this: if you feel you’re ready for a long term relationship with a wonderful woman who makes every part of your day brighter, you must be strong enough to create true comfort for her. If not, you will only create escape, and your time with her will be momentary. Escape is great for some things, even as part of a long term relationship, but not as its foundation. When it’s true comfort you’re providing her she will stay with you until the end… and beyond.

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