Aspergers Syndrome Diagnosis - Should I Tell My Child?
| by Nelle Frances | November 14, 2005
To tell or not tell your child or others of their diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome? Its really a personal decision that has pros and cons on either side. Some parents may struggle with telling a 3 year old they have Aspergers Syndrome, fearing they may not understand; that it could frighten them.
While saying directly The doctor says you have Aspergers Syndrome, may be unnecessary, talking about the characteristics of Autistic Spectrum Disorder in a way the child can relate to is vital in helping the child towards self-acceptance as they mature.
Being open about your childs different way of thinking and processing, and connecting those traits to Aspergers Syndrome characteristics is the key to success in helping your child towards self-acceptance. The earlier they become comfortable with Aspergers Syndrome shop-talk the easier it will be when they are pre-teen and adolescent age. Children with Aspergers Syndrome need to be able to focus on their strengths more than ever at this age when their social-skill deficits can seem more prominent.
Remembering though that people on the Autistic Spectrum do not always connect the dots in the correct order, it may be necessary at some point to say You have Aspergers Syndrome for clarification.
So should you tell your childs part-time employer about Aspergers Syndrome and if so, when?
When they are applying for a job? When they get the job? Or never?
This also comes down to personal choice. However, sometimes it can be helpful to have an employers support contributing to the success of your childs employment experience.Our son doesnt like to mention it when hes applying for a position or when he initially begins work. He doesnt want it to influence the employers decision to hire him, one way or another.
Then he doesnt like to tell them of his Aspergers Syndrome too soon, because he doesnt want to freak them out. But ultimately he likes to tell them of his diagnosis, and explain to them what that means, because he feels like hes hiding a secret if he doesnt. As he says, Its a part of me, and they cant know who I really am unless they know of my AS. (Sometimes I swear hes a 44 year old inside a 14 year olds body!)
So far weve been very fortunate in the employers who have given our son a job. Theyve been very understanding, and have helped by finding out about Aspergers Syndrome, and matching the strengths of Aspergers Symdrome with the duties/tasks assigned to him. Theyve praised his work ethic, his efficiency, his enthusiasm and manners. Theyve been understanding and compassionate when his anxiety or depression has caused him to miss work, and not held it against him the next time hes there. Just as someone may miss work due to asthma, or the flu they understand that depression/anxiety is part of Aspergers Syndrome.
The members of our family have reached the stage where telling about Aspergers Syndrome is just like saying my eyes are blue a comment that helps the listener come to know you (or your son or brother) a little better. After all, life is a never-ending quest to make connections with others, whether fleeting or lasting!
While saying directly The doctor says you have Aspergers Syndrome, may be unnecessary, talking about the characteristics of Autistic Spectrum Disorder in a way the child can relate to is vital in helping the child towards self-acceptance as they mature.
Being open about your childs different way of thinking and processing, and connecting those traits to Aspergers Syndrome characteristics is the key to success in helping your child towards self-acceptance. The earlier they become comfortable with Aspergers Syndrome shop-talk the easier it will be when they are pre-teen and adolescent age. Children with Aspergers Syndrome need to be able to focus on their strengths more than ever at this age when their social-skill deficits can seem more prominent.
Remembering though that people on the Autistic Spectrum do not always connect the dots in the correct order, it may be necessary at some point to say You have Aspergers Syndrome for clarification.
So should you tell your childs part-time employer about Aspergers Syndrome and if so, when?
When they are applying for a job? When they get the job? Or never?
This also comes down to personal choice. However, sometimes it can be helpful to have an employers support contributing to the success of your childs employment experience.Our son doesnt like to mention it when hes applying for a position or when he initially begins work. He doesnt want it to influence the employers decision to hire him, one way or another.
Then he doesnt like to tell them of his Aspergers Syndrome too soon, because he doesnt want to freak them out. But ultimately he likes to tell them of his diagnosis, and explain to them what that means, because he feels like hes hiding a secret if he doesnt. As he says, Its a part of me, and they cant know who I really am unless they know of my AS. (Sometimes I swear hes a 44 year old inside a 14 year olds body!)
So far weve been very fortunate in the employers who have given our son a job. Theyve been very understanding, and have helped by finding out about Aspergers Syndrome, and matching the strengths of Aspergers Symdrome with the duties/tasks assigned to him. Theyve praised his work ethic, his efficiency, his enthusiasm and manners. Theyve been understanding and compassionate when his anxiety or depression has caused him to miss work, and not held it against him the next time hes there. Just as someone may miss work due to asthma, or the flu they understand that depression/anxiety is part of Aspergers Syndrome.
The members of our family have reached the stage where telling about Aspergers Syndrome is just like saying my eyes are blue a comment that helps the listener come to know you (or your son or brother) a little better. After all, life is a never-ending quest to make connections with others, whether fleeting or lasting!
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