Thank You For Your Patience (We’ll Be With You As Soon As Possible)

How many times have you heard that when you make a phone call? A phone call about something absolutely vital to your current state of mind? A matter of utmost importance to the nation’s welfare - nay - the WORLD’S!! (All right, that may be a bit exaggerated - but hey, I’m annoyed!)

It seems that every corporation, government department, odds and sods subsidiary - in fact any entity that has its own logo - these days is incapable of providing real live people to talk to on a “first contact” basis.

Of course there is the option of eventually talking to a real, live person. At least that’s what we’re told - by the machines. But can you really trust a machine that cannot feel your pain? Ah, I digress – yes a real human may become available as long as you have a good 20 minutes or so to spare. (a conservative figure)

Now there’s a lot one can do in 20 minutes while waiting for the real live person to materialise at the other end of the phone line. Wash some dishes, clean something, think about cleaning something. A fully qualified Domestic Engineer could even have a batch of scrumptious bikkies in the oven!

But then we’re faced with another dilemma. What if they turn up and I’m not there? They’ll hang up and, what’s worse, they’ll think I’m not the really nice person I am because I wasn’t there to show them what a really nice person I am and… #**#$#%%# BURNT BISCUITS!!

So you stay there, on the end of the phone, humming to the dulcet strains of “I Left My Soul in Some Elevator” played in D minor (hey, isn’t everything?) on something pretending to be a baby grand but is actually computer-generated by the same digital dolly apologising for your inconvenience and assuring you that your call is important to her...

And wait for your call to progress in the queue.

© Carol Dorman

Article Source: http://www.articleset.com