Female Evolution - The difference between Girls and Women
| by Raul Pop | September 15, 2007
Before you read the following article, please make sure that you have thoroughly read and understood the Disclaimer, which pretty much states that I am perfect and you are not, so if you don’t like the article, then the problem is on your end. If you agree to the disclaimer, or are just too lazy to read it, please read on and keep your comments to yourself. Remember, I warned you!
Women are an important part of society, because without them, all men would have beer bellies and would lack the knowledge to unglue themselves from the couch. Yet women are derived from a very much different species, girls. For some, the difference between the two is amazing, yet they can’t even begin to grasp the full depth of it. But revolutionary new evidence has changed all that, giving us a better understanding of the transition phenomenon.
Indeed, the road to maturity is hard. Girls are born of a pure nature, having a soul whiter than their own skin, yet their innocent nature is soon tainted, as they are able to absorb knowledge. It is a proven fact that girls never learn to speak. They learn to complain, yet never how to speak. This is just like boys never learn how to listen. Yet they are still a far way from being the rolling- pin-wielding killer that is a woman. Their road leads them through childhood, a period of constant change.
Much like snakes, young girls shed their skin during this period. Some believe that this is due to the fact that it always has to be their favorite color, which can change several times a week. Few males understand this process, sometimes failing to notice the difference, since they only know of 16 colors, unlike the 1.048.576 colors that females recognize. Others believe that a girl’s color reflects her mood, the many changes being caused by the girls’ often mood swings. In this stage, females are rumored to be able to ruin your day. Yet due to the often changes that a girl brings upon herself, her body can no longer function properly, causing monthly bleeding and sudden releases of hormones, which fuel girls’ anger. This is a sign that they have entered the new phase of their lives: teenager hood.
Talking to one of these specimens is like trying to converse with a brick wall. No, I take that back. A brick wall at least listens and doesn’t argue. And you never feel sorry after trying to talk to it. If you should ever meet one a teenager, you will undoubtedly wonder why she can’t talk, only talk back. Yet such things are to be expected from creatures that bleed more than three days and don’t die. Also, shedding their skin is no longer needed. They are now very much aware of how they look and will often give others prolonged glimpses. Yet, they are a strange breed, as they have more music on them than they do clothes. Some speculate that the amount of clothing they have on is merely symbolic, so that males fantasize what their covered square inch of the body looks like. Sometimes, the only part of the body that is covered is done so by tattoos, rather than clothing. Yet as their bodies start to lose proportion, the females are flung into a deep, self-induced state of pity and depression, known as adulthood, the final stage of their evolution.
Now is when they remember their Amazonian past, trading in iPods for knives, CDs for blunt objects and sexy underwear for larger clothes. Up to now, she has kept her mate to herself through free sexual intercourse, yet now she dominates him by force, bending him to her will. Typically, a woman’s size and weight increases to aid her in her domination. Rumors of the G-spot are spread, to give males hope of better days, yet these are unfounded and often so diverse that you will never hear of the G-spot being in the same location. Other deception includes headache simulation, as they do not get headaches, instead just wanting to test if their mate is really the alfa male. If not, she will test others, such as the plumber, the mailman, the milkman etc. Also, women supposedly possess telepathic capabilities, as groups of them are often seen entering the bathroom simultaneously – while still unknown – and leaving as “best friends for ever”. What is more, their day ruining capacities have increased exponentially, a full-grown adult woman being able to ruin your entire life with a weapon as small as a ring.
It is because of this complex evolution process that young females are kept as pets, until they outgrow this status and are thrown out of the house, to stalk the city for their pray – the only things stupid enough to cross their paths – men. Yet even the most dangerous of predators are useful, teaching men to do things they would have never learned otherwise – such as the meaning of utter humiliation, the dress code (yet not too efficiently) and many others. Having said this, women are pure evil – as opposed to little girls – yet they are a necessary evil, toying with men to keep them in shape, before they destroy them completely.
P.S. For all the women who finished reading this, even if they felt insulted, congratulations and be patient, the male evolution chapter is already in progress.
Women are an important part of society, because without them, all men would have beer bellies and would lack the knowledge to unglue themselves from the couch. Yet women are derived from a very much different species, girls. For some, the difference between the two is amazing, yet they can’t even begin to grasp the full depth of it. But revolutionary new evidence has changed all that, giving us a better understanding of the transition phenomenon.
Indeed, the road to maturity is hard. Girls are born of a pure nature, having a soul whiter than their own skin, yet their innocent nature is soon tainted, as they are able to absorb knowledge. It is a proven fact that girls never learn to speak. They learn to complain, yet never how to speak. This is just like boys never learn how to listen. Yet they are still a far way from being the rolling- pin-wielding killer that is a woman. Their road leads them through childhood, a period of constant change.
Much like snakes, young girls shed their skin during this period. Some believe that this is due to the fact that it always has to be their favorite color, which can change several times a week. Few males understand this process, sometimes failing to notice the difference, since they only know of 16 colors, unlike the 1.048.576 colors that females recognize. Others believe that a girl’s color reflects her mood, the many changes being caused by the girls’ often mood swings. In this stage, females are rumored to be able to ruin your day. Yet due to the often changes that a girl brings upon herself, her body can no longer function properly, causing monthly bleeding and sudden releases of hormones, which fuel girls’ anger. This is a sign that they have entered the new phase of their lives: teenager hood.
Talking to one of these specimens is like trying to converse with a brick wall. No, I take that back. A brick wall at least listens and doesn’t argue. And you never feel sorry after trying to talk to it. If you should ever meet one a teenager, you will undoubtedly wonder why she can’t talk, only talk back. Yet such things are to be expected from creatures that bleed more than three days and don’t die. Also, shedding their skin is no longer needed. They are now very much aware of how they look and will often give others prolonged glimpses. Yet, they are a strange breed, as they have more music on them than they do clothes. Some speculate that the amount of clothing they have on is merely symbolic, so that males fantasize what their covered square inch of the body looks like. Sometimes, the only part of the body that is covered is done so by tattoos, rather than clothing. Yet as their bodies start to lose proportion, the females are flung into a deep, self-induced state of pity and depression, known as adulthood, the final stage of their evolution.
Now is when they remember their Amazonian past, trading in iPods for knives, CDs for blunt objects and sexy underwear for larger clothes. Up to now, she has kept her mate to herself through free sexual intercourse, yet now she dominates him by force, bending him to her will. Typically, a woman’s size and weight increases to aid her in her domination. Rumors of the G-spot are spread, to give males hope of better days, yet these are unfounded and often so diverse that you will never hear of the G-spot being in the same location. Other deception includes headache simulation, as they do not get headaches, instead just wanting to test if their mate is really the alfa male. If not, she will test others, such as the plumber, the mailman, the milkman etc. Also, women supposedly possess telepathic capabilities, as groups of them are often seen entering the bathroom simultaneously – while still unknown – and leaving as “best friends for ever”. What is more, their day ruining capacities have increased exponentially, a full-grown adult woman being able to ruin your entire life with a weapon as small as a ring.
It is because of this complex evolution process that young females are kept as pets, until they outgrow this status and are thrown out of the house, to stalk the city for their pray – the only things stupid enough to cross their paths – men. Yet even the most dangerous of predators are useful, teaching men to do things they would have never learned otherwise – such as the meaning of utter humiliation, the dress code (yet not too efficiently) and many others. Having said this, women are pure evil – as opposed to little girls – yet they are a necessary evil, toying with men to keep them in shape, before they destroy them completely.
P.S. For all the women who finished reading this, even if they felt insulted, congratulations and be patient, the male evolution chapter is already in progress.
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