Surviving Family Financial Hardship: My Story
| by Rachel Paxton | December 12, 2005
My daughter is 18 years old this year, older than I was when shewas born. For years we lived on a very low income and barelymade ends meet.
She watched me work my way through college, studying hard, oftenworking more than one job to make ends meet. If you were to askher now if we had any money when she was young she would tell youshe didn't really know. She never went to bed hungry and alwayshad clean clothes to wear. She always had toys to play with andmom was always there for her when she needed her. That is whatshe remembers.
My daughter is now applying for college herself, and wanted me toread her college application. She had to write about herself andher life, her relationships, etc. I was very surprised to readwhat she thought about her childhood. We have lived through alot of tough times and there are a lot of negative stories shecould tell. What she described is how thankful she was for thehardships she has endured and how she has become a strong womanbecause of her life experiences. She credits me for her driveand determination. She attributes her money management skills tomy example.
Her essay made me realize that it is not the experiences we gothrough that shape us--it is how we handle those experiences.When you are enduring financial hardships, if you make poordecisions, your children will see your decisions and feel theimpact of those decisions. If you make good choices, yourchildren will learn from those choices also, regardless of yourfinancial circumstances. Every choice you make affects the peopleyour children will some day become. If your children see youcharging up your credit cards (regardless of how much money youmake), they will think that is normal and will learn thosespending habits from you. If you live on a low income and spendyour money wisely, your children will learn to manage their moneywell.
You can not teach your children what you do not model. Yourchildren need to learn to budget their money, however much moneythat is, to not accumulate debt, and to shop wisely. You canteach them this from a very young age, with even theirallowances. Sit down and really take the time to decide what youwant your children to learn about money and start modeling thosebehaviors for your children today.
She watched me work my way through college, studying hard, oftenworking more than one job to make ends meet. If you were to askher now if we had any money when she was young she would tell youshe didn't really know. She never went to bed hungry and alwayshad clean clothes to wear. She always had toys to play with andmom was always there for her when she needed her. That is whatshe remembers.
My daughter is now applying for college herself, and wanted me toread her college application. She had to write about herself andher life, her relationships, etc. I was very surprised to readwhat she thought about her childhood. We have lived through alot of tough times and there are a lot of negative stories shecould tell. What she described is how thankful she was for thehardships she has endured and how she has become a strong womanbecause of her life experiences. She credits me for her driveand determination. She attributes her money management skills tomy example.
Her essay made me realize that it is not the experiences we gothrough that shape us--it is how we handle those experiences.When you are enduring financial hardships, if you make poordecisions, your children will see your decisions and feel theimpact of those decisions. If you make good choices, yourchildren will learn from those choices also, regardless of yourfinancial circumstances. Every choice you make affects the peopleyour children will some day become. If your children see youcharging up your credit cards (regardless of how much money youmake), they will think that is normal and will learn thosespending habits from you. If you live on a low income and spendyour money wisely, your children will learn to manage their moneywell.
You can not teach your children what you do not model. Yourchildren need to learn to budget their money, however much moneythat is, to not accumulate debt, and to shop wisely. You canteach them this from a very young age, with even theirallowances. Sit down and really take the time to decide what youwant your children to learn about money and start modeling thosebehaviors for your children today.
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