Secrets for Getting Your Spouse to Agree to Mediation

| by nobsdivorceadviceguide | November 24, 2008
If you’re getting divorced and want to avoid hiring a lawyer or going through the circus of pain that usually takes place in courtroom litigation, you may want to consider divorce mediation as an alternative path to ending your marriage.

Getting your spouse to agree to mediation, however, can sometimes be easier said than done!

If you’ve already researched mediation and you’d like to warm your soon-to-be-ex to the idea, here are three tips to help you get your spouse to agree to mediation:

Tip #1: Give Them Mediation Literature or Have Someone Call Them to Explain

If you’ve already agreed to end your marriage, emotions can run high even in the best of situations. You can try your best to explain the benefits of mediation but if your spouse is angry or bitter at you, chances are he or she will not listen and may even do exactly what you don’t want them to do in order to hurt you.

If you want to present the idea of mediation, it’s possible that your spouse will be more receptive to getting the information on mediation from someone other than you. Consider giving them some literature to read in their own time or have a mediator give them a call and explain the process.

Tip #2: Discuss the Benefits of Mediation to Your Spouse

Many divorcing couples aren’t even aware that divorce mediation is an available alternative to a traditional court-litigated divorce.

Consider that your spouse may not even understand what mediation is, and if you present it incorrectly, they may think it’s a ploy for you to get more out of them than with a judge or to take them for all they’re worth.

Let your spouse know that with mediation, the two of you will be deciding where your belongings go and how the child custody arrangements will work. Let your spouse know that he or she can still hire an attorney but that with mediation it’s optional and that without this, the two of you can save considerable money.

Also let your spouse know that mediation is much calmer and more civil than courtroom litigation – this option will not only be easier on the two of you, but also on any children you have together.

Tip #3: Explain How Mediation Will Help you Be More Cooperative

Your spouse may not know how much easier and calmer a divorce mediation can be as opposed to a traditional court-litigated divorce.

Explain how hostile an environment a courtroom can be and how much more civil and cooperative you both will be if you choose mediation. Your spouse will realize that he or she may be able to get more of what they want if they go the mediation route. You will realize the same thing!

Mediation truly is much better than courtroom litigation in so many ways. Although getting this point across to your spouse can be pretty difficult at times, using the information and tips in this article can help you do it effectively. Best of luck!

Article Source: http://www.articleset.com



About the Author

Rick D. Banks is a nationally recognized divorce and trial attorney and mediator. His website, www.NoBSDivorceAdviceGuide.com, provides a wealth of information and resources on everything you’ll ever need to know about divorce. » Read more articles by nobsdivorceadviceguide
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