Our Live Expert Help Line at our web site (link below, or call
1-800-545-5736 if you are a youth worker) gets more
requests for help with this child than almost
any other. Every teacher, every counselor knows
youngsters who won't do their work. Some of these work refusers often
fail to show up. When they do show up, they often say little, and some
may be nearly mute. Some may not even make eye contact.

Typically, adults consider two options: pushing the child or backing off.
All types of "pushing" can fail, whether rewards, consequences, pressure or
logic are used. Backing off can't ever work because if you back off then
you're not offering the child an education, or whatever your service is. The
world demands skills from every one of us. No exceptions are made for
those who endured abuse or neglect. We spend hours thoroughly covering
work refusers in our workshop, and can't fit all that comprehensive,
step-by-step guidance here, but we'll give you some key tips on one central,
critical aspect of working with work refusers: control.

It's Pain, Not a Game

Many work refusers face enormous challenges from severe family
problems like violence or incest, to challenges like disabilities and
emotional disorders. Work refusal can appear to be a game, but
especially with victimized youngsters, it's not a game at all. Getting
"stuck" is the only way they know to survive.

Strategy: Few kids will ever say "I was beaten last night so math seems
irrelevant. Can I skip the exam?" For distressed kids who don't wish
to disclose the nature of their distress, simply allow them to say
whether it's a "good work day" or "bad work day." How much
work could you do after a beating? Deeply appreciative of
accommodations, some students work very hard on the days that
they're able to.

You're a Life Line

You may be the only sane, sober adult some students know-- a fact
that you may want to keep in mind.

Strategy: If you're a teacher, then you may live with on-going
"testing mania," and other big pressures to produce results at
school. It can be hard to remember that humanity is always
more important than scores. Forget the humanity you won't
get good scores. Remember the humanity, you'll maximize
your humans and their scores.

Tiny Increments

Traumatized kids have so little energy left for school: Surviving the
beatings, homelessness, incest, or neglect can demand all the child's
resources.

Strategy: Raise expectations in tiny increments. If a student
says your goals are too easy, that's just right. Aim for lots of
small successes rather than a big failure followed by seizing
up and absences.

Discern Causes

Look beyond the work refusal to improve it.

Strategy: Ask students why they don't work. When many say "I
don't know," reply: "If you did know, what would it be?" This off-
beat method can yield important answers. Be ready to arrange help
for the serious issues students cite.

Strike the Balance

Neither pushing or backing off works, even though they tend to be
the most commonly used options.

Strategy: So what does work if the two most common methods
are so ineffective? Striking the balance between those two
options. That means that you never abandon your mission, but
you don't accomplish it at all costs. That balance is dynamic and
shifting, so it will vary from day to day, even hour to hour. For
example, imagine a child has a dad who is a long haul truck
driver, and very violent. When dad is home, this is a very
troubled kid who does little work: coping with the violence
takes all her energy. So, you increase the accommodations you
make, and decrease expectations. When dad is on the road, the
child may be more functional. Now, you reduce the accommodations,
and increase expectations. If you correctly strike the balance,
you'll maximize the education and other services that you can give
to children carrying unbearable loads.

A Final Thought: Consider this true story as a way to understand your
potential impact on vulnerable children who refuse to work: "Mom hasn't
moved in three days. I'm worried," the first grader said when asked why he
couldn't work. Tragically, upon investigation, the boy's Mom had passed without
any adult knowing. Looking back, would you want to have taken the time to ask,
or would you be satisfied that you had only focused on getting the work done?

LIKE THESE STRATEGIES?

More dynamic, powerful strategies are in our newest book, "Maximum-Strength
Motivation-Makers." It's just $13, and designed to give you all the tools you
need to motivate unmotivated students. Learn more about it at:
http://www.youthchg.com. Order by phone: 1-800-545-5736.

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